Compiled by Lee LeFebre
Below is a list of words and phrases which may portray you much of the time when you are under pressure.
To cope when things aren’t going right or going my way, I tend to…
become self-absorbed (self-consumed) by:
*becoming overly introspective
*feeling sorry for myself
*engaging in self-pity
*getting depressed by stuffing my anger and frustrations
*beating up on myself
*focusing on my suffering and trials to get attention and sympathy
*playing the role of a victim / martyr
withdraw (isolate myself) by:
*becoming aloof (pull away)
*going into a shell
*running and hiding (escape)
*distancing myself from others
*avoiding others (becoming a loner)
*becoming unapproachable
*being overly introverted
*retreating to the silent treatment
*not communicating
become obsessed with:
*accomplishments
*recognition
*status
*how I look
*what others think of me
*my physical health
*the past (especially past hurts and failures)
*a devotion to a cause
* structure, order, rules, regulations
escape pain / pressure through:
*carousing
*drugs / alcohol
*staying busy
*television
*athletics
*hobbies / games
*computers
*pornography
*sex
*talking
*school
*sleep
*religion
*reading
*fantasy
*movies
*entertainment
*overeating
*religious activity and service
*becoming a workaholic
*work (career, business, job)
*gloom and doom thinking (refuse to be positive)
become self-disciplined (self-gratifying) by:
*becoming impulsive (hasty)
*buying things to feel better
*assuming “if it feels good do it”
*becoming compulsive (lacking self-control)
*lusting (craving for : alcohol, caffeine, sugar, cigarettes, drugs, sex, junk food
become anxious (worry and fret) by:
*becoming fearful (apprehensive)
*lacking peace and rest
*becoming paralyzed (go numb)
*becoming paranoid (overly suspicious)
*seeking astrology, horoscopes, fortune telling, (tarot cards, palm reading, Ouija boards etc.) and / or the occult for guidance and strength)
become dominant by:
*becoming dictatorial (bossy)
*becoming demanding (pushy)
*becoming overbearing (controlling)
*becoming manipulative
*intimidating others
*demanding my rights
try to stay in control through:
*blackmail (making threats)
*manipulation (use coercion)
*profanity (swearing)
*the silent treatment
*passivity (play helpless)
*not eating (anorexia/bulimia)
*use of guilt
*favoritism
To cope when things aren’t going right or going my way I tend to …
come across as:
*insensitive, uncaring,indifferent, unconcerned, and / or unsympathetic
become complacent (nonchalant) by:
*saying things like, “It doesn’t matter..it’s ok”
challenge others by:
* resisting authority
*becoming uncooperative (unteachable)
*causing dissension (strife)
*irritating (aggravating) others
*becoming argumentative, rigid, inflexible, close minded, stubborn, obstinate, unreasonable or unyielding
become pessimistic by:
*lacking confidence and
*becoming skeptical (suspicious)
*distrusting others, myself, God, church, and / or government
*expecting the worse
*assuming the worse case scenario to protect myself from disappointment & pain
*never being satisfied or content
*never being pleased with self / others
*becoming jealous of others’ success and happiness
develop a critical attitude by:
*finding fault with others, myself, and everything around me
*nit-picking to death
*becoming judgmental (opinionated)
*becoming prejudiced (intolerant)
*complaining a lot (becoming negative)
become hostile (vent my anger) by:
* becoming unfriendly (cynical)
* becoming hateful (malicious)
* becoming harsh (cruel and brutal)
* becoming sarcastic (caustic)
* having a quick temper
become self-assured (self-confident) by:
* depending on myself instead of God
* becoming proud (haughty)
* becoming egocentric (acting pompous)
* bragging (being boastful)
* becoming arrogant (cocky)
* having a superior attitude (saying in effect: “I must always be right …I must always win…I must always be the best”)
* pretending like I know it all
* becoming conceited (smug)
* having difficulty asking for help
become self-righteous (self-justifying) by:
* becoming defensive
* making excuses (rationalize)
* covering up and hiding mistakes
* assuming I am never the problem
* avoiding taking responsibility for failure or problems
* becoming critical of others (blaming others)
* having difficulty: admitting I was wrong,apologizing, asking for forgiveness, expressing gratitude
become tense (nervous and agitated) by:
* finding it hard to relax
* becoming restless (high strung)
* becoming impatient
become emotionally insulated by:
* keeping people at a distance
* becoming inhibited (bottling up emotions)
* avoiding intimacy
* denying feelings: having difficulty expressing feelings and opinions openly and honestly
* becoming unable to express love in a meaningful way
deny reality by:
* ignoring problems and hoping they will go away
* denying anything is bad or wrong
* lying (mislead)
* deceiving others and myself
* exaggerating (overstate matters)
* playing games to hide real intent
* conning people to get what I want
hold a grudge (be resentful) by:
* becoming moody (sulk)
* harboring bitterness
* becoming unforgiving
* keeping a scorecard of wrongs done to me or by me
* trying to get even (seeking revenge)
* wanting others to fail or get hurt
* punishing myself or others
To cope when things aren’t going right or going my way, I tend to …
fight unfairly (take cheap shots) by:
* becoming slanderous (misrepresent the actual situation)
* gossiping (talking behind other’s backs)
* engaging in passive-aggressive behavior ( i.e. using humor to hide real feelings, becoming sarcastic, refusing to communicate, becoming passive, forgetting things, procrastinating, being late, etc.)
put up a front (can’t be real) by:
* faking it (hiding what I really think and feel)
* putting on a show (performing ) to get attention and impress others
* becoming pretentious (phony, unreal)
* becoming superficial (plastic)
* becoming gushy (too sentimental)
lack compassion, kindness, understanding, gentleness, and love
live by my feelings by:
* becoming too subjective (believing that truth is only what I feel)
* believing I’m ok only when I feel okay
* becoming too sensitive to criticism
* becoming hypersensitive
* taking things too personally
* reading-in rejection when it isn’t there, or setting things up to bring about rejections
* becoming touchy (irritable)
* being controlled by anger, doubts, emotions, fear, etc.
become a pleaser (be nice) by:
* trying to be all things to all people
* trying to do the “proper / correct” thing
* trying to keep everyone happy
* trying to keep peace at all cost
* avoiding conflict at all cost
* becoming a doormat (letting others take advantage of me)
* expressing to others what I think they want to hear
* giving into others too easily
* becoming controlled by others
* having difficulty: saying no, setting boundaries, standing up for myself, becoming overly compliant, becoming too submissive
become passive (lack initiative) by:
* quitting too easily ( giving up)
* not taking chances
* playing it safe (pulling back and waiting)
* waiting for someone to tell me what to do and how to think
* depending on others instead of God
* vacillating (becoming too changeable)
* becoming indecisive ( not making decisions)
* wanting someone else to make the decision for me
* avoiding failure at all cost
* procrastinating (putting things off)
* becoming irresponsible (becoming unreliable)
* becoming lazy, apathetic, lethargic
become self-depreciating (self-condemning / self critical) by:
* assuming I am always the problem
* becoming overly apologetic
* becoming too hard on myself
* having difficulty: receiving love, receiving compliments, receiving forgiveness, forgiving myself
* clinging (becoming a leach) to those who finally accept me
* becoming uncomfortable with success
become a caretaker (rescuer) by:
* becoming over protective
* taking responsibility for other’s feelings (becoming overly responsible)
* making decisions for others
* giving unsolicited advice
* trying to prevent other’s failure
* becoming possessive (selfish)
* becoming a busybody (becoming too involved in other’s affairs)
* becoming preachy (lecturing others)
* trying to find someone who needs me and who I can rescue
* nagging (badgering)
* talking too much and listen poorly
become too intense (overly serious) by:
* becoming stoical (unemotional)
* having trouble dealing with feelings
* becoming overly analytical
* becoming stern ( solemn / formal)
* lacking joy or life
* not being fun to be with
To cope when things aren’t going right or going my way, I tend to …
become self-absorbed (self-consumed) by:
* becoming overly introspective
* feeling sorry for myself
* engaging in self-pity
* getting depressed by stuffing my anger and frustrations
* beating up on myself (hating myself)
* focusing on my suffering and trials to get attention and sympathy
* playing the role of a victim / martyr
withdraw (isolate myself) by:
* becoming aloof (pull away)
* going into a shell
* running and hiding (escape)
* distancing myself from others
* avoiding others (becoming a loner)
* becoming overly introverted
* retreating to the silent treatment
* not communicating
become obsessed with:
* accomplishments
* recognition
* status
* how I look
* what others think of me
* my physical health
* the past (especially past hurts and past failures)
* a devotion to a cause
* structure, order, rules, regulations
escape pain/pressure through:
* carousing
* sex
* drugs/alcohol
* talking
* staying busy
* school
* television
* sleep
* athletics
* religion
* hobbies/games
* reading
* computers
* fantasy
* pornography
* movies
* entertainment
* overeating
* religious activity & service
* becoming a workaholic
* work (career, business, job)
* gloom & doom thinking (refuse to see the positive)
become self-disciplined (self reliant) by:
* becoming a perfectionist
* overcompensating by trying even harder so as not to fail
* becoming legalistic
* living “by the book”
* living by rules (have to’s should’s, must’s, ought’s)
* becoming too hard and strict on myself and others
* setting unrealistic standards for myself and others
* basing acceptance (of self and others) on performance
* fearing making mistakes
become self-indulgent (self gratifying) by:
* becoming impulsive (hasty)
* buying things to feel better
* assuming “if it feels good, do it”
* becoming compulsive (lacking self-control)
* lusting (craving) for: alcohol, drugs, caffeine, sex, sugar, junk food, cigarettes
become anxious (worry and fret) by:
* becoming fearful (apprehensive)
* lacking peace and rest
* becoming paralyzed (go numb)
* becoming paranoid (overly suspicious)
* seeking astrology, horoscopes, fortune telling (tarot cards, palm reading, Ouija boards, etc.) and / or the occult for guidance and strength
become dominant by:
* becoming dictatorial (bossy)
* becoming demanding (pushy)
* becoming overbearing
* (controlling)
* becoming manipulative
* intimidating others
* demanding my rights
try to stay in control through:
* blackmail (making threats)
* manipulation (use coercion)
* profanity (swearing)
* the silent treatment
* passive (play helpless)
* not eating (anorexia/bulimia)
* use of guilt
* favoritism
copyright Lee LeFebre (used with permission). Hardcopies are available from Crosslife Books
“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:1-24).
“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16).