My Journey to Discover Christ as Life

What is the Christian life? That definitely was a question I had ten years ago–one that desperately needed an answer.

Working for General Motors on the assembly line, with my Bible open before me and tears streaming down my face. my constant cries before God were: “What went wrong? Why am I so defeated? What happened? How come my Christian life–that started so gloriously in freedom–is ending up in a heap of ashes?”

I loved God with all my heart. But I was experiencing the symptoms of deep depressions, frequent panic attacks, obsessive thoughts, anxiety, sleepless nights and a phobias. I can recall one particular night when I was running down the street with no one chasing me, full of fear, trying to escape from myself.

On another night, I remember my wife and I were sitting on our couch and she was sharing with me, in tears and despair, her own defeats as a Christian. Yet. I was helpless to help her or myself. It seemed we couldn’t go back to the world and at the same time, we couldn’t go ahead. We were miserably stuck.

Suicidal thoughts became my friends, knowing that this might be my only way of escape. But deep down in my heart, as hopeless as it seemed, I believed there had to be a way out of this mess. I just had to find the answer.

Ironically, I was a co-teacher of an adult Sunday school class, and a home Bible study leader. I had started and coordinated an ongoing monthly evangelistic outreach at a local flea market. Moreover, I was President of the Roster, a monthly Christian flyer published and distributed at General Motors’ Fremont plant. I was also co-organizer of the Great Commission Army–an evangelistic outreach at my church– and Regional Coordinator for “Here’s Life Bay Area” from 1976-77 in San Leandro and San Lorenzo, California…

I was also attending my church’s Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night meetings regularly. I had memorized many verses and some chapters of the Bible. I would study and meditate on portions of the scriptures throughout the day. My prayer life was very strong and consisted of at least one hour per day. On top of all this, I was winning people to Christ on a regular basis.

But, here I was hopelessly defeated with seemingly no way out. My faith appeared to be reduced to a mere hobby similar to bowling or golf for the unbeliever. Yet, they appeared to gain more happiness from their hobbies than I did from mine. Except for the fact that I was going to heaven–and they were destined for hell–it seemed they were better off than I was. Not only was I having personal problems like I experienced prior to becoming a Christian, but I had the additional problems of trying to live the Christian life. I now was required to love, to keep myself from sinning, to obey and read my Bible more, to pray more, fast more, maintain my spiritual life and improve myself. Of course, at the same lime, I knew I shouldn’t feel so inferior, so depressed, so fearful and so crazy.

My question was, “Where is the reality of Matthew 11:28-30:’Come to Me all who are weary and heavy ­laden, and I will give you REST. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find REST for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and My load is light’?” I didn’t know how this could be a reality in my life even though the verse brought some comfort in my misery.

Of course, one can’t stand idle when one is going down the tubes. There has to be some effort to reverse the downfall. Some of my great leaps of faith (to get free from this troublesome web) were to double my efforts in Bible study, prayer, witnessing, rebuking Satan from my mind and thoughts. and applying the “Positive Christian Thinking” technique by confessing certain Bible verses. I made numerous total commitments to God, until my total commitment button wore out. And I held steadfast to the “eleventh” commandment: ..Thou shall not find me out.” As a lay leader at the church who supposedly exemplified the Christian life–with others wishing they could be like me–what else could I do?

I tried to work up more faith to overcome the problems; I even went for pastoral counseling. When these and other efforts failed, the only recourse for me was to try to “let go and let God.” Just trust the Lord; “…stand still and see the salvation of the Lord”and other verses pertaining to Him as the one who will set me free. No matter what I tried, it seemed to work only temporarily; at best only a few moments of relief came my way. God had once felt so very close … now seemed so very distant.

What Happened?

My question and prayers seemed to go unanswered for several months until one day I ran across a syllabus from a seminar on successful Christian living. As I read through his binder, the instructor’s words began to explain certain Scriptures to me that I had already committed to memory, but in a way that shed new understanding on their meaning. At last, I began to see the glimmer of light at the end of the very long, dark tunnel.

The seminar instructor was a professional biblical counselor int he area, so I went to him for counseling. Through the six counseling sessions I had, and the reading of the suggested material, the symptoms began to disappear! Seeing that these specific truths were setting me free, I went to Grace Fellowship in Denver, Colorado–where my counselor was trained–to receive all the teaching and training on the subject that I could. For several years, I read voraciously everything I could get my hands on that dealt with the subject. At the same time, I was compelled to share these truths with others who were struggling to live the Christian life.

My first opportunity was with a close friend who was a dedicated Christian, but was experiencing similar symptoms to mine. She had tried counseling, but with no apparent effect. After sharing these liberating truths with her–over a period of two months–she was freed from all symptoms! Shortly thereafter, I began an adult Sunday school class and taught the truths that began to set Christians free from their terrible struggle to overcome sin, hang-ups, defeating attitudes, and whatever else hindered them from living a victorious life in Christ Jesus.

Seeing the need for further training, developed a Bible training class that not only taught these liberating principles, but trained the participants in how to effectively share them with others. I was still working at General Motors, teaching an adult Sunday school and a Bible training class, counseling on Tuesday nights, and maintaining a family of six … all with relative ease.

When General Motors closed their plant in Fremont, God led me into full-time ministry sharing the truths I had learned from God’s Word with the body of Christ. Since then, I have been on television and KFAX radio in the San Francisco Bay Area. I have conducted a number of Bible training classes, and I served as a pastor…

How Does All This Work?

The answer, in brief, is simply Christ; He is the Christian life. God has given Christ to be the believer’s only life and to do all the living through the believer. God doesn’t give the believer a little more peace or patience or anything. He simply gives the believer Christ, and He is all those things.

Every believer has some concept of the Christ within him. But, 98 percent of us, ranging from the layman to the clergy, have very little understanding of the fact that Christ is our only essential life. Witness the Apostle Paul’s glorious statements: “…for to me, to live is Christ,”{Phil. 1:21); “I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me” (Gal. 2:20); and “Christ who is our life…” (Col. 3:4). This is a clear picture that the two, Paul and Christ, were functioning as one. Paul was very adamant throughout his epistles that the Christian life was Christ living in, and through, the believer as the believer’s essential life.

Let me illustrate: If you are working on an area of your life to improve it, you are not really living the Christian life. Why? Because if Christ is living through you, by you, would you have to work on His life? Improve His life? Of course not! What are you working on? It’s what the Bible calls “flesh”. The flesh always seeks to better itself by works of its own. Since the flesh doesn’t change, it will be an ongoing, futile effort of trying to live the Christian life.

Let me also make it clear that I am not inferring that living the Christ life is some state of passivity. Rather, it is quite the opposite. It will be a very assertive walk. But if you are not clear that Christ is your only life, you will revert back to a life of works. God makes it very clear to His people in Hebrews 4:10, that the one who has entered His rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His.

Your question might now be: “How can this be? How does this all work?” Obviously, I can not explain the walk in Christ in one brief article. I realize that it takes time and meditation to understand these principles and concepts… Since there is a remarkable correspondence between the experience of the nation of Israel in the Old Testament and the spiritual experience of the individual soul, we emphasize three major applications necessary to enter into His rest: entering the land of Canaan [identification], overcoming the land [freedom], and occupying the land [maturity].

After many years of teaching on hundreds of subjects in the Bible, I believe these subjects are essential for the one who wants to walk in victory, peace and rest. They have dramatically changed my life and they are the very lessons I personally live by. It has been ten years since I walked out of that dark tunnel of depression, fear and anxiety. Now my heat-felt burden is to see His children walk in His glorious freedom and have a deeper experience of Him.


Adapted from Cross Life Messenger, Jan. 1989. Warren and Mary are now retired but still share the gospel of salvation and abundant life in Christ. They contacted GFI this year to express their gratitude for the training and equipping they received back then. We rejoice in their testimony and years of proclaiming the Galatians 2:20 message.


Honorable Mention

Mr. Gorman Gray has written an important book on the interpretation of Genesis’ creation account and its correspondence to operational science. See Genesis One: Scientifically Accurate and Surprisingly Simple on Kindle here.

Posted in

Subscribe to receive Grace Notes

Grace Notes is a Biblical email devotional sent weekly and freely to our subscribers. The goal is to highlight the dynamics of abundant living through Christ.

  • And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
  • “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)

Please feel free to subscribe! It's free!

cross_sunset

Sign up to receive Grace Notes weekly

Everyone needs grace, so everyone needs Grace Notes! Receive our weekly publication, free, in your inbox. Timely messages to meet your grace need.

"I love Grace Notes!" -- DP, subscriber

A verification email from Grace Notebook has just been sent to you! Please click on it to confirm your subscription.

If you do NOT click on the confirmation link in this email, your email address will NOT be added.

If the email does not appear shortly, please check your spam folder. If possible, please whitelist john@gracenotebook.com.

Thank-you!

boy

Hold on!

cross_sunset

Sign up to receive Grace Notes weekly

Everyone needs grace, so everyone needs Grace Notes! Receive our weekly publication, free, in your inbox. Timely messages to meet your grace need.

Close

"I love Grace Notes!" -- DP, subscriber

boy

Hold On!

A verification email from Grace Notebook has just been sent to you! Please click on it to confirm your subscription.

Close

If you do NOT click on the confirmation link in this email, your email address will NOT be added.

If the email does not appear shortly, please check your spam folder. If possible, please whitelist john@gracenotebook.com.

Thank-you!