Adam was created and placed in a beautiful garden, having fellowship with His creator, and all His needs met—well, most of his needs.  He had all he could want— plenty of food, no disease, no battles to fight, no crime, no one angling to get his job, no sin. Things were good! Just not yet completed. It seems it was planned from the beginning that God had in mind that not only do we need Him .… but we need each another. Thus, “…the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’ So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man” (Genesis 2:18, 21-22).

It is an interesting fact that in our “age of communication” with cell phones, the internet, texting, and cameras everywhere for us to see each other—our churches, our neighborhoods, and our communities are filled with people who “feel” alone and are wondering why their needs are not being met. Hmmmm. It seems we all come into a fallen world with numerous needs like acceptance, approval, respect, security, encouragement, affection, appreciation … love!!!

The rib was neatly the closest thing to Adam’s heart, soul, spirit—the inner man. Adam would “cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh”—meaning a composite unity. Only something from Adam’s inner man could assure the depth of closeness that God wanted for the man and woman—and the parents of all humanity to follow. Adam needed someone more emotional and discerning than himself. So God made Eve emotionally and psychologically different from Adam; they needed to need each other.

Even our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, in the darkness of that terrible moment on the cross felt the reality of being alone—”My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Matthew 27:46)… It is worth noting that God Himself was never alone, Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness…” (Genesis 1:26).

The purpose for Adam’s helper was not that of a worker … Adam didn’t need help tilling the garden, he was physically fit (and the fall hadn’t taken place yet, so there were no weeds). So, why did God determine that Adam needed a helper? One reason could be, if Adam was to understand love, there needed to be tangible living objects to give and receive love. They would also both need encouragement as they learned to live in a giving and receiving relationship with God.

It took time for me to understand that for my wife, and myself, to “complete” each other, meant we had to be different from each other in many ways—different strengths, different weaknesses, different qualities.

Men are too practical to be good discerners and women are too discerning to limit their mental processes at the line of practicality. Please don’t think I am saying men have no discernment or women have no practicality. But there is a difference in their processing. After years of counseling, primarily couples, I have seen the differences at work. And add to those differences, the inherent temperaments … plus the good and bad training from parents, who had their own inadequacies, and you can easily begin to see why “every human is unique and different.” Kapeesh? And we are all different for a reason!

Yet, the selfishness that invaded humanity from the effects of original sin left us all with a hunger to make others to be more like ourselves. That is certainly a setup for failure. Let’s be candid: we know that God designed the process of “the two shall become one.” We also know that from the wedding on, the question becomes which one?!

I have several friends who have lost their spouse. I talk to all of them regularly. My spouse of 60 years has been in a nursing facility for dementia—plus two strokes according to neurology reports. My friends and I all know what it is like to adjust to “losing” our closest friend. The sudden quiet home, the loss of personal communications, discussions, daily laughs and perspectives on issues, and enjoying scenic drives together. Suddenly, there is no more “will you brush my hair?” or “please scratch my back” requests, and no more of that close, personal “someone” we trust and depend on for anything!

Personally, we loved to laugh and often shared funny lines about the male/female differences, like…

• The teacher asked the little girl to tell something about Adam and Eve. She said, “First God made Adam and then looked at him and said, ‘I think I can do better,’ so He created woman.”
• No man ever tells a woman she’s talking too much when she’s telling him how wonderful he is.
• Did you ever wonder how many fig leaves Eve tried on before she said, “I’ll take this one”?

…and on and on. Laughter is good for the soul… and the relationship.

None of us really want to consider ourselves as “normal,” or “average”… but “it is not good” for man or woman to be alone.  There may come a time when it is necessary to adjust to the new season of life that we must face … alone! Yes, we want to still be who we are and accept ourselves as where we are in the mix of life. Being alone, we want to fit in with others for continuing relationships, yet comparing oneself to others is a losing proposition in the long run, so we learn to adjust our time, environment, and expectations. We thank the Lord daily for our children and/or our extended family and we learn to press on with whatever daily task the Lord sets before us.

As Christians, we are overcomers. Jesus reminded us, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). We are in Christ, and His Spirit is in us. As overcomers, we are equipped to rise above the “pulls” of the world and look back on our lives, relationships, successes, and failures … and sense a true and inner gratitude for the thousands of blessings that God has provided us in our journey through this fallen world.

Regrets? Of course … many. But, as I have noted before … sooner or later we have to give up our hope for a better past, and set our mind, heart, and hope on our incredible future—”Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:2-3).

Everything in the plans of God for His creation of men and women is built on relationships … with Him, and with each other. From our gathering to Him en masse, when we meet Him in the air (referred to as the rapture), 

“…the Lord himself will come down from heaven with the signal of a shout by the head angel and a blast on God’s trumpet. First, those who are dead in Christ will rise. Then, we who are living and still around will be taken up together with them in the clouds to meet with the Lord in the air. That way we will always be with the Lord” (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 )…

and ultimately to our future home, with many mansions, in the Holy City on the newly recreated Earth. Our future, as joint heirs with our Lord Jesus, is firmly set in the timeless journals of eternity. It is there that we will come to know the ultimate fulfillment of … “It is not good for man to be alone.” It will be life in the personal presence of our perfect Father and Creator.

Hallelujah!!!